Thursday, July 5, 2012

{A Bit of My Heart and a Free Printable}

     I've shared my infertility story with y'all before.  Sadly, it's a continuing issue.  I tried IVF for the last time in June.  I used up all my embryos, and it didn't work.  Again.  I've been struggling with facing the facts: unless a miracle happens, I will never be able to give birth to a child.  I never thought it would come to this, but it has.  I'm sad about it.  At times, I'm angry.  Sometimes I feel lost and lonely.  But you know what?  Just because I can't biologically have a child, it doesn't mean that I can never be a mom.  I still believe, even at my lowest moments, that God has a plan for me, and I do think that part of that plan is for me to be a mom to someone.
     I don't want to sound like I don't still have bad days.  There are moments when I see a pregnant lady or a mom and her newborn on TV that I feel like someone knocked the breath out of me because I am reminded for the one-hundreth time that I will probably never have that.  And sometimes I want to scream when I find out that one more person is pregnant.  (I'm waiting for Betty White to announce that she's pregnant...)  But I'm getting used to my new reality, and it's getting easier and easier for me to have a positive outlook as the days go by.  Sunday morning, my pastor used Deuteronomy 7:9 in his sermon.
     This verse spoke to me.  God is God, and because I have a personal relationship with Him and try to keep His commandments, I have a covenant with Him.  And that covenant is a covenant of love.  I've wanted to be angry with Him, but when I think about how much my husband and parents love me and that God loves me even more than that, I can't be mad with Him.  His plan is always way better than any plans I can come up with.  I've seen that time and time again.  Verses like this remind me of that.  And on days I seem to have forgotten, what better way to remember than with a printable, right?  
     I LOVE free printables!  I get so excited when I see them on other people's blogs.  I've shared two free printables I created with y'all before.  Today, I want to share the above printable with y'all.  You may not be going through the same struggles than I am, but everyone has her own struggles to deal with.  Struggles are a part of life, and they're the specific reason why this place we inhabit is called earth and not heaven.  It never hurts to have a reminder of God's love and the covenant He has with His children. 
     Feel free to download the image for your own personal use--you may not claim the image as your own, re-sell, or redistribute it.  Click on the arrow with the line under it, and the file will download to your computer.  And before you print, you may want to do a print preview to make sure the whole image fits in whatever size you choose to print it.  (If you have trouble with a certain size, I know that Walmart gives you the option to add a white border around the image if you're printing there.  I'm sure there's a way to do that on your home printer too.  This can be helpful, especially if you plan on framing the image.)  I hope you enjoy it!  :)
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32 comments:

  1. As someone who never had her own biological children, I can relate. There was a time I just could not be anywhere near a baby department in a store, and, yes, EVERYONE was pregnant! But, now I can happily tell you that I am mom to three chosen children (and grandma to one!) and I highly advocate adoption to anyone is open to it. Blessings to you!

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  2. Hey lady!! I just stumbled on your cute blog and I’m your newest adoring follower!! I can't wait to delve into your archives! Also hey why don't you check out a huge Shabby Apple Giveaway I'm having right now!

    hope to see you there, and thanks so much!!
    Xo, Emily

    http://emilymmeyers.blogspot.com/2012/07/sponsored-giveaway-from-shabby-apple.html

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  3. Sending some hugs your way! The printable that you have shared is just beautiful. I hope your positive outlook on life continues to increase with each day! :)

    Megan

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  4. I am sending you the biggest virtual hugs I can muster. We just went onto the next phase of conception with BBT, ovulation sticks, etc etc... I haven't gotten the courage to do the doctor appointment.

    You know what I hate? The comments of, "oh when you stop trying, it'll happen." Well that's all fine and dandy but it doesn't always work out that way and it dismisses the person's feelings.

    If you ever need to talk, I'm around. :) I keep thinking that no matter how a child comes into my life, they will know constantly how much we love them and how badly we wanted them.

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  5. {{{HUGS}}} girl! I cannot imagine what you must be going through, and I don't want to insult you with something that seems so little like an I'm sorry. All I can say is that my faith has gotten me through SO many unbearable things in my adult life, and I am very thankful that you are blessed with faith as well. That's a beautiful verse and printable.

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  6. I am sending prayers and lots of love. I felt led to share my cousin's story with you about never giving up hope!! My cousin and his wife tried for almost 20 (yes, twenty) years to have a baby. She had numerous miscarriages, but they never gave up hope. Many tears were shed, but they kept believing. Then the miraculous moment happened, and they will celebrate their daughter's second birthday in August. His wife still posts frequently on FB Jeremiah 29:11, For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. God knows and understands your pain and frustrations. Even though it's hard for us to understand sometimes, everything is in His perfect timing.

    Thank you for the beautiful printable. I had to pin that. I always need that constant reminder. HUGS

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  7. Thanks for sharing this wonderful verse. While I cried every time I saw a pregnant lady or a baby for a year, God did make my fertility issue a thing of the past. I pray yours will be, too, one way or another. A friend at church had a prayer meeting for her infertility and that God would show them how He wanted them to proceed. I had such a strong sense she would be a mother, not necessarily by pregnancy, but surely. They adopted 4 Filipino children, now teens, one is in his native country for another month, others + Dad have come home from mission work. I hope I've offered you some encouragement. Remember, with God all things are possible. Love, Janet

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  8. Bethany,

    As usual you are showing what a loving, faithful and generous soul you are. Even in the midst of your own pain and struggles you are reaching out to all of us, sharing your story, but also offering encouragement and these printables. It speaks volumes about what type of person you are and how strong your faith is! I wish for you everything that God has planned and I thank you for being such a good friend to me.

    Hugs and prayers,
    Maureen

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  9. We just adopted our little girl in May. I too, at my one of my lowest points, claimed Jeremiah 29:11. I praise God for His divine plan, even when we feel as low as possible, He still is God. Remember He has plans to prosper you! Claim it and pray it. :) Praying for you in Nebraska.

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  10. Love your print...thanks for sharing your story. I can relate...as I have had 5 total pregnancies (only 1 of them being successful...thank GOD for my angel baby, Luci). But I lean on my Heavenly Father and my scriptures for strength. I just want you to know that you are in my prayers, and you are so right...God does have a plan for you! And it's a great one :)

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  11. Bethany, I really feel for you all the way over here in Australia. I don't want to appear condescending in any way and know that you probably have considered all avenues already, but on the off chance that you haven't thought about homeopathy, please give it some thought. Sometimes the alternatives can bring you pleasant results. All the best whatever you decide and know how brave you are to share this most personal thing with us. More hugs and warmest regards. Tania.

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  12. Our Father, which art in Heaven, Hallowed be Thy name.
    Thy Kingdom come.
    Thy will be done, on Earth as it is in Heaven.
    Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us,
    And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil,
    For Thine art the Kingdom, and the Power, and the Glory forever.
    Amen

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  13. Love, love, love your printable! Trusting in His promises, waiting for His perfect timing and walking His path for our lives is NEVER easy! I'm in awe of your upbeat attitude in the midst of the pain. What a godly woman you are. I'm sending you prayers of hope, strength and answers!

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  14. I read this in a book: "Hardships are the Lord's greatest blessing to the believer. Without them we would love the Lord only for what He does for us. Our troubles teach us to love Him for who He is." (The Preacher's Bride by Jody Hedlund) It sounds like you have discovered that, and what a testament to our faith it is! I pray God continues to give you strength, and strengthen your faith, amidst this very difficult time.

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  15. Your relationship with Christ is such an inspiration! You are an absolutely amazing person... Inside and out!! You WILL be an amazing mother one day, God just wants the timing to be perfect! Don't ever lose hope, wait and see what the Lord has in store for you for the best is yet to come!!! (:

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  16. Thank you for sharing this. I can relate on every level. What He has in store for us is better than anything we could dream up on our own. xoxo,

    Johnnie
    Saved By Love Creations

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  17. I love this printable! Found you on Flamingo Toes, and had to stop by. I just recently got interested in printables, and am decorating a brand new home, so thanks for sharing this!

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  18. This is absolutely beautiful. I'm glad you are clinging to the Lord and trying to trust during this time. I can't imagine it is easy. I have had so many friends struggle with infertility. Your mom heart is there though, and I know the Lord has a heart for adoption. I have seen so many women transition to a heart for adoption too because of their struggle with infertility. Perhaps that is what God is pulling you toward now. Whatever his plan for your future, keep trusting, and I'm sure you'll figure it out. I just said a quick prayer for you. In Him, Jodi

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  19. I cannot honestly tell you I know how you feel, because I don't.
    I am glad that you have the Lord in your life and you are trusting in Him.
    Thank you for the free printable. Whenever I look at it it will remind me of your story, and I will say a silent prayer for you and your family.

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  20. I can't say that I understand how you feel, because I don't but I am praying for you! I have a friend that was told she could never have children naturally. She just gave birth to her 3rd child. First children being twins. God is a God of miracles! He has a wonderful future ahead of you and I pray you will embrace that! Much love and prayer sent your way!

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  21. I love this printable, Bethany! Thank you for being so transparent. I know there are so many who can relate & who are comforted by your story. <3 Heidi Rew from Parties for Pennies

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  22. Love this printable! Thanks! I struggled with infertility as well. I went to the fertility specialist twice and after the amount of tests they talked about running, I didn't go back. It wasn't because I changed my mind about having a beautiful baby but I decided to leave it in God's hands. I went home and spoke to my husband and basically told him that maybe it wasn't meant to be for us to have children. After all, I had some family members that never conceived. We had plenty of nieces and nephews we could shower with love. I think about the time I accepted this and started planning a vacation for us, it happened. I got sick. Felt horrible for weeks. Coworkers kept asking me if I was pregnant and I actually started getting mad at them because I knew it wasn't going to happen and it was like they were rubbing it in. I was pregnant though and I feel blessed everyday. Don't give up hope. God will be there for you when the time is right. Praying for you =)

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  23. I enjoy your blog so much. I have nominated you for the Versatile Blogger Award. You can get all of the information on my site. Congrats. http://bellascraftymom.blogspot.com/2012/07/versatile-blogger-award.html

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  24. Hello! I just stumbled across your blog. And was touched. I know full well the range of emotions you are experiencing. My husband and i struggled with infertility as well. Then the Lord led us to Snowflakes, which is an embryo adoption organization. There are over half a million embryos frozen across the U.S. Snowflakes is a wonderful christian organization that matches adoptive families with donating families. The best part is that YOU get to carry the child! Anyway i would highly recommend it. We now have two sons through this blessing. Prasie Jesus! Check it out through Nightligh Christian Adoption, Snowflake division. blessings!

    Erin

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  25. Isn't it confusing why God doesn't just DO what we WANT him to DO and know he can do, sometimes?! I think pouring your heart out before Him is exactly what He desires, no matter the circumstance, and trusting His plan. Love this printable and verse, too. Pray you will continue to find hope and comfort in His word.

    Please consider sharing this touching post & lovely printable at our (Hearts)&(Homes) link party at www.mercyinkblog.com

    blessings to you,
    lauren

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  26. Thanks for sharing this great verse! God is loving and faithful...I'm sorry for your hurts...two of the four girls in my family struggled with this...one adopted and one ended up pregnant. God's plan for both families was perfect! Not easy, but perfect! Saying a prayer that God will use your beautiful printable as a blessing to many! Sharing at my party on Saturday...XO, Aimee

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  27. I just found your blog through your guest post at Unrefined By Design. I love your crafts, and I love how you shared this struggle and the awesome printable. I struggled to get pregnant when we first decided to try. Everyone got pregnant--including my brother in law's girlfriend! I did eventually get pregnant, and had a beautiful daughter. Then when we tried to get pregnant again, I had a miscarriage. I love how this printable could apply to that situation, and a lot of situations with children, too! (I was blessed by God with twins after the miscarriage.) God knows what we are going through. I think of a great song by Andrew Peterson, "The Silence of God" and how Jesus never forgot about the sorrows that are carried by the hearts that He bought. Keep in mind that He knows what is in your heart, even when it seems like everyone else does not. I hope this rambling comment helps rather than hurts the situation.

    I am your newest subscriber! I look forward to reading more posts!

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  28. Hello Bethany, I just discovered your blog because someone had linked your printable. I was blown away....your words described EXACTLY how I feel. We attempted a reverse vasectomy for my husband in April 2008, which was about 18 years after he had the vasectomy. I got pregnant in September, only to have a miscarriage 6 weeks later. I believe I had two more miscarriages after that, and haven't been able to get pregnant since then (January 2009) due to scar tissue that built up at the "reconnection points" in my husband. I have been so sad, angry, depressed in horrible up and down patterns for the last 3 years. I would cry for days at a time (yes, staying home from work) and hiding it from my husband because he already felt so guilty. I didn't think I would ever get over the grief of not being able to have children. I still don't know. But finally there seem to be more good days than bad. It's just terribly hard when no one else in my family has had even one miscarriage. They all get pregnant at the drop of a hat -- even my sisters-in-law, one of whom is expecting her 8th child. The hardest part for me is that I don't have any friends. I feel I cannot relate to most women who have children, and it seems they feel awkward around me talking about their children all the time, which I understand -- it's a huge part of their life. I guess I just wanted to say thank you for sharing and being vulnerable. If it's ok with you, I would like to pray for you. I pray God blesses you with the desires of your heart! <3
    Michelle

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  29. Hello Bethany I came across you blog through Pinterest. I just happen to stumble on this post and was just touched. I love the scripture, it really encouraged me. Thank you. As I read your post I am reminded of Hannah in 1 Samuel chapter one. She stayed faithful and prayed. When she poured her heart out to God and promised him to give her son back to the lord, God heard her and open her womb and her son changed lives and heard from GOD during a time where hearing from God was rare. I believe in an all powerful God. I know he has heard your prayers and he is waiting for that time to show his awesome power. 1 Samuel chapter one is powerful chapter and shows nothing is impossible for God. Stay Encouraged! :-)

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  30. Bethany, As someone who had over 5 miscarraiges as well as 5 kids and who was looking for answers, I discovered that giving up gluten can be a help. Gluten revs up our immune systems and I would encourage you to consider it.

    I also had to use a baby aspirin with my last pregnancy.

    God is good and knows the plans He has for you.

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  31. I completely get your yoyo! I stumbled across your blog in looking for an image of this verse to put in my memory verse photo album for verses I want to learn this year. Its actually the memory verse for BSF this year. ♥ I have been married for 12 years this month...no babies and not enough funds to support lab costs to make it happen. I became bent on adoption but not my hubby. I fell in love with Royal Family Kids Camps (www.royalfamilykids.org) and just recently God really impressed upon my heart that I just need to seek Him with all I have and He'll bring me into His plans for me. I know He's called me to love kids so for now I just volunteer to love the kids I get to meet at Royal Family Kids summer camps in my state. It's an amazing feeling to know your love is making a difference in a child's life and that fills a big gap for me. God bless you!

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